Reality and Myth : : Life and LifeSTYLE

The Real exists in the Myth and the Myth is living, breathing and feeding into Reality. What do I mean by that?

Not going into the whole Jacques Lacan concept of the Real and the Imaginary — but the things we are conditioned to hold as True, as Real — our identities, our career goals, the lifeSTYLE that we’ve created for ourselves — are all an illusion, a dream, a myth.

Is my laptop real? Do I identify as a woman of color? Am I a middle glass graduate student in monetary debt to a bank and a private instution of academia that is being partially funded and allowed to continue to run by a government-influenced doctrine of what is allowed to be taught and learned?

Yes.

Do these things matter?

A conditioned yes.

Do these things have the power to alter my perception of self worth and power?

Yes.

Illusions. Myths. Dreams. Things that are as inspiring as they are terrifying. They have a transformative power to shape who we want to and will eventually become. The danger lies in the seeds sown into the un-Real. Our greatest hopes and fears are the one and the same — but how high do we allow ourselves to hope and to what degree are we conditioned to hope for the same things, the same illusions — that have nothing to do with our human value, but with our economic value. Our facebook profiles. Resumes.

Have you ever worked in an office, sat next to a person whose resume shines more brilliantly than yours? That person has more awards, accolades, recommendations and “experience” than you do — and yet, after 2 or 3 months on the job, you’ve discovered that they know almost nothing? That they aren’t even half as competent as you are in completing or achieving the same task?

That person’s resume — those awards, those accolades, the recommendations — they are all Real. They are all recorded on a sheet or 2 of paper. A record of that person’s value. This is Real. This is also a Myth — because no matter how many girl scout badges that person has acquired throughout the years, it still inadequately quantifies that person’s level of competence at the job. In essence — the person knows how to work a system of quantified economic and productive value so that he or she can appear to be more valuable than you.

This Myth is more powerful than the Real.

The Real is not something that can be quantified on paper. It changes and it becomes Real with Real experience. With an actual demonstration of Reality. The actual showing — and not telling — of how competent you are at the job.

And yet we’re conditioned to follow this rat race, to have moments of panic hit at certain ages — younger and younger — to believe that our economic, our Mythic Value is more important than the Real. And to distract from the asking of questions, there is the proliferation and inundation of popular culture. Not to say that popular culture is bad or evil, but it can become counterproductive when it is utilized in a certain way.

How many channels do we have now? Movies? Music? iPod updates, new versions of laptops, the latest, the newest — what you haven’t heard…?

Have we ever had so much entertainment surround us at one point in time?

Post-undergrad, there was a time when I was doing exactly what other people my age were doing, what my peers were doing — working 9-5, come home exhausted, but stay up so I can watch certain shows, listen to certain kinds of music because I needed to keep up with everything. Because I didn’t want to be left behind. Because I didn’t want to feel out when at a party, because, as it turns out, aside from alcohol, one of the few things that would help me connect to other people quickly was popular culture.

Talking about LOST, The Office, the — omGZ, can you beLIEVE that Tyra actually…?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

And all my money was going into this repetition that was spiraling into something empty, numbing and meaningless.

Because I wasn’t building a Life. I was building a Life-STYLE.

That’s where all my energies were being directed towards. Building a lifestyle, filling my brain with pop cultural facts and figures, desiring and craving the next saccharine-laced episode, even though I knew 90% of the time what would happen next. Premise, conflict, almost-resolution of conflict, pitfall, bigger conflict and finally, the conquering of the conflict. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Same bad guy. Different faces. Different races.

Same rat race, same rat channel.

So what happens when you get caught up in the current that is flowing towards a particular life-STYLE?

Think about it. Life versus Life-STYLE.

A STYLE of life. A WAY to live.

AWAY from living.

That isn’t a life. Though sometimes we have the tendency to mix the two together.

For the past year, I haven’t really been watching TV. I’ve watched shows — selected 2-3 shows at a time and followed them. Some superficial and bad for me (ie, The Hills, ANTM), others that try to be thought provoking or at least entertaining (Weeds, LOST), and some that genuinely had me raising larger questions about the world around me (Battlestar Galactica, Death Note).

So for the past year, I haven’t been keeping up with commercials either… you know, the things that are seeping into the movie theaters?

And I’ve felt a disconnection from people I normally would have desired to have friended at my new school… at least, on an acquaintance level. But, interestingly enough, the biggest barrier was the fact that I didn’t desire to go out to bars after class with them and talk about Gossip Girl. I just couldn’t relate. And after a while, I found that I didn’t want to.

What I thought was Real was revealed as a Myth and that for most of my life, I’ve been trying to aspire towards building a Life-STYLE but not a Life.

And I’m not just talking about what is considered in the mainstream as superficial.

I’m talking about going to this many meetings, wearing this many grass roots student org shirts, organizing this many projects and workshops — and for what? In my head I knew that real, profound and tangible change wasn’t being enacted by my efforts, that I was only — by default — keeping up with the lifestyle of the student activist. Only I wasn’t an activist. Ever. An observer, you can call me a fraud of you want, but there was a disconnect there as well.

Because I could see it.

And I tried to trick myself into believing what I saw because my low level of self value prevented me from believing what I new was Real.

I saw them all — competent and incompetent — rise through the ranks in prominence, in influence — claiming to be familiar with the works of bell hooks, Angela Davis, Foucault, Paulo Freire, and Fanon — but none of them really practicing what they preached. And no one calling them on it. No one questioning their knowledge, their authority, their sphere of influence. And the fact that I couldn’t see it, but that everyone else could see it — their value, how important they were, I thought there was something wrong with me. That I was stupid.

Both grass and money are green. Different shapes, same shit.

And maybe I was, since Stupidity, like Truth, is all relative. I was stupid in that I didn’t get it, and everyone else could. I was stupid in convincing myself to live and breathe in a denial of Reality.

What is quantified as Real Intelligence anyway?

With the advent of standardized testing, I see the dumbing down of kids. Most of students had no idea how to write an essay, how to think an original thought — unless it was in relation to pop culture and its innovation. Again, not to say POP CULTURE is evil, cuz it’s not. It’s like saying hip hop is misogynist. That is a Lie.

Hip hop can CONTAIN misogyny in its lyrical content, in its marketing — but hip hop is but an artistic MEDIUM. It could be channeled for purposes both “good” and “bad.”

Same goes for pop culture. It is a MEDIUM that is being misutilized at the present so that it can SERVE a FUNCTION.

So the students aren’t stupid. Their brains are wired to be original, inventive and creative in other mediums. Just not in the field of academia, in the field of expanding their understanding of the world around them in a manner that is Real.

With standardized testing, they are being conditioned to swallow certain FACTS as though they are UNIVERSAL. School is no longer geared towards a pursuit of or expansion of knowledge, but the pursuit of HIGHER TEST SCORES, a QUANTIFYING of their value as students so that they can get into GOOD SCHOOLS so that they can get GOOD JOBS and eventually life LUSH LIFESTYLES.

All geared toward teaching them that their eventual economic or symbolic value is the same as their human value.

And if we’re unhappy about it, there’s apparently a pill, a movie, a show or (head) doctor to help “fix” us. Like we’re machines, like there was only a glitch in our programming.

But maybe the dissatisfaction resides there for a reason.

This is getting increasingly nihilistic, but rest assured, there are beacons of hope. If we’re willing to work for it. Unfortunately I’ve got to run, but I shall return later with more questions and, hopefully, a sunnier entry.